What we resist persists.
How often have we come across this saying?
Our resistance to the negative is what creates more negative experiences, is what I want to talk about today.
Our brain has a natural negativity bias. We remember the tough stuff more and recall bad experiences more simply because we are wired for protection and safety. When we have a bad experience we ensure that we don’t relive it by literally reliving it a thousand times. I know it's very confusing and counterproductive. But that’s how the mind thinks it is protecting us from ever having that bad experience again. By never letting us forget that bad experience.
Also, society puts such a premium on the good, positive life-affirming happy shiny stuff that we become very idealistic and our expectations of life become so unrealistic and so unachievable that the very happiness and joy we search for becomes completely out of reach.
I have learned the art of embracing it all in the COVID year in more ways than one.
So here’s the trusty list for your easy consumption.
1 - Learn to label your feelings and thoughts correctly. This is huge. If you say you are tired every time you feel a negative feeling you will keep resting and that will not move you through that feeling.
2 - Pause. The minute we feel something like insecurity, jealousy, sadness, hurt, loss, heartache our first instinct is to run, distract or replace or deny it completely. But pausing and say Hi! to that feeling, makes it disappear so beautifully. Because rolled into that Hello! Is an acceptance and a welcome that takes the power of that feeling away.
3 - Life is 50/50. So if you have 50% good stuff in your day call it a win and move one. Very often we need 100% good stuff to call it a good day and that’s too high a standard to achieve.
4 - Know that no matter what you feel or go through, you will recover. Very often we don’t want to cry or feel something because we think we will get stuck there and not get over it. The only way out is through, so gently confronting everything, giving everything its due space in your consciousness, and having a healthy acceptance for all of your life will keep you healthy and moving forward.
Sending you love and light